I got a moment to speak with a friend who has breast cancer. She is through chemo, but currently undergoing radiation. I asked her what I often ask sick people... whether she gets to feel "normal" yet. She judged this to be a perceptive question, answered, and we closed our conversation... but I was still thinking...
Why is it that no one has inquired about this friend's self care? Mental health? General feeling of well-being? I mean, I know being sick is challenging, but I think we all get that. What we as a culture often fail to understand or embrace is talking to people about how they are emotionally. Do you get to feel any normalcy seems like a perfectly honest question to me, and one that perhaps we should ask more often. It gets to the heart of what a person needs to feel more calm, more sane, and, yes, more normal.
You get a lot of really honest moments with questions of normalcy. Sometimes, it even leads to tangible things you can do to help. In this case, my friend has done a great job seeking out the support she needs among other breast cancer survivors in a support group. She said that she now sees that what she feels is on SOMEONE's scale of normal, even if it doesn't register for the larger part of the population. Someone has validated her feelings, her experience, her emotions. This is so important for anyone who has a chronic illness... This is the best way to feel less alone.
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