The American Dream

I've been thinking about a lot of future-related things lately. Having friends who are struggling to find their path along with news about the economy and coming sequester is making me somewhat introspective.

What would happen to me if I were furloughed? Not a pretty picture or a thought I really want to have. It could happen to me, though, depending on how the cuts go. Do I find it likely? No. Is it still on my mind occasionally? Absolutely. We work on many federal contracts and I support them. I believe I would be paid out of our reserve funds before I would be furloughed, but there has been no clear pronouncement of that fact. I just have to trust that they'll do the right thing.

Losing that large a chunk of my income would not completely ruin my finances, but it would leave me less able to pay my bills. I already know I would have to cancel services and cut back majorly... probably eat a lot of rice and beans... and it would not be fun. I feel for those people who haven't been as fortunate as I or those who are just starting their careers and face this issue. It's not fun to live paycheck to paycheck and even less fun to lose even a small bit of a check, or to have it delayed.

My own start in the professional world was rough. I did not make enough money to make ends meet or to pay for my medical stuff. It's hard to be healthy when all you can afford is $1 or less per meal because you're paying for so much that you can't help and you can't control.

I keep hearing people talk about the American Dream and how it is the dream that your children will be better off than you are, able to do the things you weren't. I feel very often that my parents' dreams for us have been stunted by the choices of their contemporaries. I don't have the money or the energy to further my education. I would perhaps have the energy if I was able to quit work and just focus on school. I can't. I will never own a home unless I somehow fall into some financial windfall or someone just gives me a house that is near the medical care I need. It's a catch 22. I can't afford (really) to live in a city, but I must not only live in a city but in particular cities to be able to access the care I need. Not to mention having to live here to get good enough health insurance through my employer.

Is this really what we want for ourselves and our future? I'm trying to be a productive member of society, but I have trouble keeping my head above water because my life moves from crisis to crisis because of illness. I'm finally feeling stabilized now and looking at the havoc my various issues (not just health but things like unemployment) have caused and it's frightening to know that I'm one of the lucky ones that are better off. Yikes.